Bad Karma
by Sahara Storm
Summary: [Oneshot, peripheral SasuSaku] Uchiha Itachi comes home to visit. His parents are waiting. Sorta. UTTER UTTER CRACK.


**Title:** Bad Karma

**Fandom:** Naruto

**Pairing:** None really. Peripheral Sasuke/Sakura.

**Rating: **PG-13.

**Word Count:** 759

**Summary/Description:** Uchiha Itachi comes home to visit. His parents are waiting. Sorta.

**Warning/Spoilers:** Crack. Stupidity. A bit of language. Intentional OOC. I'm not joking about the crack.

**A/N:** Yukari Rin is awesome and gives me inspiration. Also: taking this story seriously would be a bit of a mistake. That is all.

**Disclaimer:** Naruto belongs to more or less sane people. Which rules me out.

* * *

Sasuke was out on the porch with his family, watching Kisho and Hana bicker over who'd get to push Mikoto on the swing first, enjoying the light breeze and the feel of Sakura's fingers in his hair, and relishing the thought of a nice romp in the sack when the kids took their afternoon nap, when Uchiha Itachi appeared dramatically on their lawn in a cloud of smoke.

Damn it. It was that time already, wasn't it?

"Err, Sakura, you're gonna want to… go inside," he advised her as he stood up and turned around. "Kisho, Hana, Mikoto, follow your mother inside. Yes, he does look a lot like daddy. Yes, it is an ugly cloak. No, you cannot have it. Now go inside. No buts."

Sakura had known about the siblings' plan to meet so that they could have an epic battle that would test their skills, push them to their limits, determine their fates and either put Sasuke's mind and memories to rest or destroy him completely etc, etc; it had been decided over many cups of sake and a few genjutsu five years earlier. Such that, she simply gathered up the children, kissed her husband on the cheek, reminded him that it was his turn to make the pot roast, and went inside.

Itachi watched them go with Faintly Amused Yet Completely Apathetic Expression No. 89™.

"You named one of your children after Mother. How sweet."

Sasuke glared, but didn't bother to answer. He looked around, then put his fingers to his lips, letting out a piercing whistle.

"Fugaku! Fugaku, come here, my boy!"

Itachi's slim brow rose. Since when did Sasuke make it so easy for himself to be baited? Oh well. He wasn't one to look opportunity in the eye and then pass it by.

"And you named another after Father?" he began imperiously. "Hmph. How foolish. You would think… that… after… all… that…"

Slowly, syllable by syllable, Itachi's voice trailed off as a huge rotweiler bounded around the corner and plopped itself down next to Sasuke, who proceeded to scratch it around the ears and tell it what a good boy it was.

No.

"You named your _dog_ after Father?" Not even he, the master of Unaffected Registers, could keep the incredulity out of his voice.

Sasuke shrugged.

"Well, yeah. I had to commemorate him _somehow_. Father was a good man; he deserves to be remembered in a fond way. We had our differences, but he would have grown into a fine grandfather… a _fine_ grandfather… if not for _you_."

They stared at each other for fifty three seconds.

Then:

"I thought I told you to let your hate grow, not your angst."

"Shut the fuck up," Sasuke said with a pout, looking at his nails.

Itachi shrugged. It was high time they got to the point of this whole meeting, anyway.

"So, yeah, this is the part where you start screaming obscenities and trying futilely to kill me?"

Sasuke made a 'meh' face.

"Urm… yeah. Thing is, though, I don't really feel like it."

…

Somewhere, Shikamaru was hard at work and Deidara was making sweet love to his left hand.

"…WHUT," Itachi deadpanned.

"I don't really feel like it," Sasuke repeated.

Another bout of silence ensued.

"You _suck_," Itachi said finally, and pouted. He had been rather looking forward to taunting and torturing his brother. First Akatsuki didn't let him stylise his own Uchiha underwear, and now this. It had to be all that bad karma that Shisui had warned him about in that one dream. Damned spectre.

"Quit it," Sasuke protested, "or I'll tell Father."

On cue, Fugaku growled.

Itachi glared.

"Whatever. I guess I'll see you in five years?" He began shaping seals, wondering if Kisame had decided to bake today.

"Coolio," Sasuke confirmed. "And hay. I kinda miss the 'Foolish little brother' thing. Yeah, when was it ever a secret that I was a masochist? One more time, for old times' sake?"

Itachi cut his eyes into slits.

"I would, but _I don't really feel like it_," he said haughtily, and stuck out his tongue. And with a swish of his coat, he vanished.

Sasuke screwed his lips to the side in thought. After a few seconds, he gave himself a pat on the back, and sent Fugaku into the yard.

Now. Where had he been? Ah, pot roast, dinner, then baby-making. He smiled in anticipation. This one could be a Shisui. Or maybe a Madara, even better.

Paying tribute to his family would never get old.

* * *

**A/N: **(coughs)

Yeah.


End file.
